After weeks of one parent walking a newborn and the other comforting a teething toddler every night, you and your partner have finally stolen a romantic hour. You lie there basking in the afterglow, enjoying the silence and being alone together. You’re about to drift off to a restful and satisfying sleep, when your door bursts open, and a panicked two-year old wails, "Mommy, I gonna throw up."

So much for afterglow. As parents, time together as a couple is rare, but it’s important to make it happen. Parents need couple time to focus on each other, to talk about each other’s needs, to have fun together, and to remember all the good qualities that brought you together in the first place. It’s easy to lose touch with what your partner is thinking and feeling when you are juggling jobs, children and home.

Ensuring couple time in a busy week takes planning and organization. Some days, having an evening out may seem like too much effort. But taking care of your relationship sets a good example for your children. They learn that self-care and intimacy are important in life and that these must be nurtured.

Time together doesn’t always have to be an evening out. How can you take even 30 minutes each day to check in and find out what’s important in each other’s lives? Here are a few ideas:

• Don’t answer the phone during a certain time each day.
• Turn off the tv!
• Even young children help out by doing age-appropriate chores, like picking up toys. That way, everyone has responsibilities, so that everyone has time for fun. (Your kids, however, may not see the wisdom of this plan. Instead, they will likely be quick to accuse you of bearing children just to have your own personal slaves.)
• If your evenings are busy with committee meetings, lessons, and homework, try meeting your partner regularly for lunch.

Taking the time now to nurture your relationship will pay off in a few years. When the kids are off with the family car, you and your partner will finally have time alone. Then you’ll still have the bond that brought you together, and lots to share.

P.S. And get a lock on that bedroom door. They may not need help when they’re sick anymore, but there’s always some crisis like no toothpaste, lost keys or breaking up with a girlfriend to keep them bursting in at inopportune moments.