When you feel the child has not enough balance in their lives, have a talk. See what their values are and educate on the health aspects of not enough balance. The key is to have one talk and leave the decisions up to the teen. More than one talk is really nagging!

Family conferences: Again, very valuable in including the teen in finding solutions.

Problem-solving: Decide how each child can schedule screen time based on that child’s commitments for the week and availability of screens between siblings. This teaches children self-discipline by educating them on planning their activities and commitments (to job, school, social events, volunteer) and planning their gaming time around them. A blanket rule of time doesn’t work for everybody all the time.

Contracts: If you have a gaming addict in your house, this tool helps. Sit down, talk, and agree on some time limits that you both could live with and write up a contract. This helps the child with limits that they set when in the moment and they don’t want to stop.

Respect privacy: Don’t log on in their name and see what they write and to whom. Trust them.

Decide on problem ownership: Educate them on a healthy lifestyle and hope they choose best decisions for themselves. You can’t control them forever.

Model: Model and include them in your leisure choices.

Decide what you will do: When their computer breaks down and they have no money, don’t offer to fix or finance new equipment. Let them figure out a way to do it.

Keep communication lines open:

The surest way to cut off your parent-child communication lines is to cut off their peer communication line. We often push teens to their peer group by spending less time with them as they grow older and then pull their peer connection out from them (no text messaging and grounding them) when we want to punish. It’s hard to build communication with children, when we take away theirs.

Change is new and frightening for parents. The huge impact of technology will affect all of us, and no one is sure how to handle it. However, you can’t go wrong keeping the communication open between you and your child. Do you have to know everything about what your child is into on the Internet? No! If you have trust and communication and as long as your child knows that anytime they need help, they will have it from you, and they can communicate to you without the fear of punishment or their technology being taken away, then they will be safe.

Lose the guilt. It’s okay to admit that your children play games. With a billion dollar industry, games are here to stay. They will grow beyond the living room and will probably be a major influence in the classroom in the next twenty years when our children become teachers, curriculum developers and educational administrators! Until we have conclusive, long-term, large sample studies of the effects on children, no one can tell you if and how much is good for your children. Just strive for a balanced life!