Discipline

1. My child understands the consequences for most behavior choices.
2. I keep my end of the consequence agreement and calmly carry through.
3. I encourage and acknowledge honesty and other appropriate behavior.
4. I make it safe for my child to give me honest information.
5. Expectations of my child are age and ability appropriate.
6. We have clear limits around movies, music, video games and TV watching.
7. We have clear limits around the use of profanity.
8. Because of the culture in which we live I do not make a big deal out of the occasional profanity.
9. I speak respectfully, assertively and model expressing my feelings.

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Responsibility and Independence

1. I provide appropriate supervision for my child.
2. I make sure that my child has the skills and accepts appropriate responsibility before giving my permission for him or her to child mind.
3. I assure that my child has adequate supervision.
4. Whenever possible I do not leave my child home alone after school.
5. I minimize the time my child is home alone.
6. If my child is home alone I have put a plan in place that provides safety and connection.
7. My child has some money available to learn responsibilities around financial management.
8. I realize that even at this age my child needs reminders about manners.
9. I compromise around a messy room, arrange for a periodic clean up and know that it is not a big deal in the big picture.  
10. I avoid doing for my child what my child can do for him/herself.
11. I do not get into conflict about chores. I work out an agreement.
12. I accept that typically family pets become a parent's responsibility.
13. I have taught my child how to greet guests, shake hands, answer the phone and take messages.
14. I model good manners.

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Peers

1. Because we have strong family values and connection, I feel comfortable having my child choose his or her own friends.
2. I can listen patiently to "All the other kids can." I decide what permissions my child can maturely handle.
3. I expect my child to spend more time on the phone at this stage and am willing to make a workable arrangement.
4. I have accepted that my child may dress in ways that challenge my taste.

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Sex, Drugs and other Transitional Issues

1. When appropriate, I introduce the subject of sex with my child.
2. I am comfortable and ready to talk about a variety of issues.
3. I encourage 'dates' in a group.
4. I am ready to talk about drinking, smoking and drugs with accurate information.

Score:

How did you do? This quiz is designed to provide you with ideas on where you may need to open communication with your pre-teen. If you feel there's room for improvement but don't know where to start, you may want to consider taking a parenting class, or reading a parenting book focusing on pre-teens. Why not try having your pre-teen take this test with you? You may have different opinions on how well you're doing in different areas.