“We offer support and a willing ear,” notes Paula, a PDC volunteer.  “I think in our society, there aren’t a lot of places to go to talk"

Parent Stress Line volunteers listen to the parent’s problem, help develop solutions, reaffirm the caller’s parenting skills and offer referrals to other services if necessary.  Callers are not required to identify themselves.  (If they want additional support, they can give up their anonymity and enroll in a parent match program to receive weekly calls from a volunteer.)

 “Our programs offer hope,” says Carla, a Parent Stress Line volunteer.  “There is such despair and people believe things can’t change.  We help them ask questions of themselves and help them to believe you can change and get through things.”

The Parent Stress Line receives almost 1,200 calls a year dealing with a myriad of issues including behavioural problems, discipline, anger, communication, runaways, prostitution and depression.  While the majority of calls deal with children under 18, some illustrate that parenting issues never go away, no matter how old your children are.  “Lately, I’ve had calls from parents with 20- to-30-year old children.  These older children return to the roost and that can cause different challenges in the household,” says Karen Greenberg, the Parent Stress Line coordinator.

The PDC provides extensive training to volunteers so they can deal with anything that comes up.  Particular emphasis is paid to listening skills, role-playing and self-esteem.  “In the past,” says Karen, “we trained on four Saturdays.  Now, we’re finding that with people’s busy schedules, we’re moving to both on-line training as well as one-on-one mentoring with a current volunteer.

 “Our volunteers range from young people to retirees.  Some have kids, some don’t.  Some work full-time, others don’t.  The important things is their willingness to listen and their ability to help parents in crisis,” notes Karen.  Volunteers typically work one three-hour shift a week; calls are patched through to their homes.

Carla, who’s been a volunteer since 1992, works part-time as a volunteer manager at a non-profit agency and is the mother of a 12-year-old and 11-year-old twins.  “I’ve been doing volunteer work since I was 14.  When I had twins, it was more difficult, but being able to do this job from home empowered me.  I love the fact that it allows for personal growth.  The best gift we can give to others is our time.  That motivates me the most.  I can make a difference in other people’s lives.”

Paula, a stay-at-home mother of six ranging in age from 12 to 21, agrees:  “I feel like I’m doing some good.  My life experiences can be used in a productive and positive way.  All kids are different – there’s no set formula.  What works for one won’t always work for another.”

Every volunteer has taken calls they will always remember.  For Paula, who’s been on the Line for a year, that call came from a desperate mother facing a hearing to regain her children from Social Services.  “She was going into court the next day.  She said if she couldn’t get her kids back she was going to commit suicide.  That’s a really hard kind of call because, of course, I would never know the outcome.”

One of Carla’s memorable calls involved a new mom:  “I know I made a difference to a woman who’d been up all night with a crying baby.  We talked about what she needed to do just to get through the day.  She was laughing by the time she hung up the phone.”

Though the issues can be difficult, PDC volunteers know that by the end of a call, they’ve usually helped moms and dads regain their confidence and equilibrium.  In a year 2000 survey, 100% of the callers who agreed to provide feedback felt the service was helpful, 75% acted on the plans discussed with the volunteer and 87% felt more positive about the future.

Parenting may be the hardest job in the world, but with a little help from the Parent Stress Line, it can be a lot easier to cope.