EVEN VERY YOUNG CHILDREN CAN EXPERIENCE STRESS

Children can also experience stress even though the event did not happen to them. A robbery or fire in the neighborhood is an example of this. Stress is the response we have to a situation that is perceived as threatening. When we feel threatened the body reacts with a fight or flight response. This increases the adrenaline flow which causes the heart rate and breathing to increase and the blood to rush to the large muscles.

Preschool children including infants can experience and show stress several ways. You might see your child cry and be more clingy. Some children's behavior may regress, that is they may behave in a more immature way. Toiletting and speech difficulties are the two areas in which this is seen. Problems with sleep, such as not wanting to sleep in their own bed, nightmares and night terrors, are seen.

How do you help your preschooler?

The best approach is to make the environment safe and predictable for them. Keep routines in place and, where possible, remove them from the stress. Children at this age are picking up on cues from those around, so it is important to give your child these messages, both verbally and demonstrating it with support and security.

Stories about characters who have survived challenges, especially if it can be like the one the child is experiencing, can be a helpful intervention. Depending on the child's skills, art work or play about the event can help get some of your child's feelings and perceptions out. You can use this as an opportunity to give reassuring messages and to correct some of the misperceptions.

Often children will think they were to blame. As a parent you will want to correct this notion and assure them that what they did was acceptable. In the elementary school age child, stress manifests itself in different ways. You may see a behavior changes such as an outgoing child becoming withdrawn, sleep disturbances, poor concentration, decline in academic performance and changes in peer relationships (loss of friends, more arguments, etc.).

Help your school-age child look at the environment, find the cause of stress and shape the environment to help the child. For example if your child is having problems with a bully, work with the teacher, principal and others to make school a safe place for him to be.

Individually your child needs some coping strategies and perhaps some outside help from you or someone else. You can teach your child to learn some relaxation strategies such as deep breathing.

Secondly your child needs to feel more in control of the situation. Talking about options they have is beneficial. Let your child know about situations you coped with and what you did and what you learned so that they will understand that they are not the only ones experiencing this.