What kind of a summer does your child actually need?

Written by: Julie Freedman Smith

Does your child need a rest, a challenge, social growth, a confidence boost or some new skills?

There likely isn't one correct answer to this question. It differs for every child, and just because our kids need something, doesn't mean they want it. Sometimes your child's needs or wants do not align with what your family can make happen. Vacation time, childcare, and family finances all have a role to play.

In my years of working with families, I've been fascinated by the different perspectives of “the right thing to do in the summer." Some parents feel guilty about working for most of the summer and having to send their kids to consecutive summer camps for childcare. Other parents don't have the money to pay for camps and feel guilty for keeping their kids home all summer long.

Rather than comparing, or wishing for a different situation, plan for your current reality. Nowadays, there are so many programs available that making it work is easier than ever before. If your child is begging for camps, find one that fits within your budget and make it happen. If your child is begging for a bit of time at home, can you schedule a few vacation days from work, or trade off with another parent for a little bit of "hang-around-the-house" time?

Choosing programs

If you don't have a big budget, or you have a child that is reluctant to go to camp, put them into lessons (30 to 90 minutes) or choose a half-day program right in your neighborhood. They'll gain confidence by trying something new and meeting new friends at the same time.

One-day programs will build their independence and build up courage as well. Of course, week-long programs are available throughout the city. Many of these provide many types of recreation, others can be quite focused on learning something specific (bike riding, science, art, drama, creative writing, languages, music, etc.)

Kids often want to be with their friends. If that's an option, great – carpooling can make things even easier. Your child may be disappointed if it doesn’t work out, but they will ultimately be fine in a situation where they don’t know anyone. Most of the kids will be in the same position and camp counsellors will have ice-breaker activities scheduled.

Sleepaway camp is not for everyone, but many kids work up to it and once they start, are reluctant to stop. Sometimes it’s tough for parents and kids to make this choice. With any camp, I encourage parents to get clear on options that fit the family calendar and budget, and then to invite the kids to be involved in the choice. Even if there is initial reluctance, once the expectations are clear, kids will appreciate the chance to choose. 

Summer learning?

You may be reluctant for your child to completely abandon reading and academics for the summer. If your child needs some skill-building, here’s your chance. Setting family reading times or goals for the summer can be a great way for everyone in the family to benefit from exploring new books. Choosing a series to read aloud as a family is a wonderful opportunity to bring everyone together, especially on days when the weather doesn't cooperate – although backyard tent reading is one of my favorite summer family activities.

If your child needs support with other academic skills, there may be camps or a tutor who is available for short-term work on specific skills like math or writing. Perhaps your child will benefit from a camp in their second language.

A little bit of everything

If you do have the luxury of choosing a summer that your child actually needs, or if you can find a way to do a little of this and a little of that, what does it look like? 

Budget and calendar are two great places to begin. Once you know the money you can spend and the time you need to fill, then you can tailor your choices specifically for your child. After end-of-school busyness, many people appreciate some free, restful at-home time at the beginning of the summer.

As you build programs and lessons into your summer calendar, keep in mind that whenever kids have planned activities, they will also need some downtime. As mentioned above, reading and other academic tasks will need to be added to the calendar. Of course, every family will need time for chores, along with friend time, and time for family adventures (cooking new recipes, heading to the park, out on a hike, or even out of the city). 

Whenever possible, involve your kids in the planning. Once decisions have been made, to decrease defiance and complaints, create a large calendar. Post this at a height where the kids can reach it and get them to help you mark out what is happening when, using colors, stickers, or drawings.

Review the calendar often with your kids. If they ask what’s happening tomorrow, get them to check the calendar and tell you what’s happening. This gives kids a sense of agency and involvement, and things will run much more smoothly. Have a wonderful summer!

Author, blogger, podcast host, and parenting expert, Julie Freedman Smith has been supporting parents across North America for 20 years. Through her company JFS Parent Education, she helps parents find relief from their everyday parenting challenges. Want to know how she can help you? Email her today: This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..