As summer winds down, you might find yourself bouncing between very different emotions. For some, the return to school feels like a breath of fresh air. They welcome the return to routine after weeks of juggling childcare, vacations, work, and endless logistics.
For others, it brings a fresh wave of stress: school supplies, lunches, new teachers, extracurriculars, and wondering how everyone will manage another busy year. For many parents, it's both.
We complain about it, but do we really talk about it?
Parenting isn't just about packing lunches, driving to practices, or helping with homework. Beneath those visible tasks is the invisible mental load: remembering picture day, noticing your child’s worries about fitting in, keeping track of schedules, emotions, and everyone's needs.
And research consistently shows that moms still often carry an unequal share of this invisible load, making back-to-school feel overwhelming before it even begins.
When we are carrying our child's worries, too.
Your child may be worried about friendships, school, sports, or simply where they fit in. Even if they don't say much, you notice. As a parent, it's natural to anticipate problems before they've happened. It comes from a place of love and protection, but it can also leave you carrying extra emotional weight.
Notice the story your mind is telling.
If you're noticing signs of overwhelm such as your brain struggling to switch off, patience feeling thinner than usual, exhaustion, or building tension throughout the day, it's worth pausing to check in with your thoughts. Our brains are prediction machines. They're constantly searching for what's next, looking for problems to solve, and ways to keep the people we love safe.
As September approaches, thoughts might be more along the lines of:
"Mornings are going to be chaotic again."
"I have to keep everyone organized."
"There's always so much to do."
What would happen if we spent more time thinking about what matters most for our family this season?
That single question or some version of it can shift toward our values, and a very different story.
Cultivate the conditions, not control.
Like a gardener, we can't control every storm or season. What we can do is cultivate the conditions for growth. The same is true of our minds. Notice which thoughts are taking up the most space for you right now. Are they supportive, or maybe feeding guilt, anxiety, and stress?
The garden needs water.
Just as water helps a garden grow, your attention nourishes whatever you give it to. Consider asking yourself: What do I want to cultivate more of this season? Connection? Flexibility? Kindness? Laughter?
It doesn’t mean it will be like this every moment, but returning your attention to what matters most creates the conditions for those qualities to grow.
Pull a few weeds.
Pull a few weeds by noticing thoughts like:
"I have to remember everything."
“I need to have this done now.”
"I should be able to handle this all myself."
You don't have to believe every thought your mind offers.
Lean on your sunshine.
Every garden needs sunshine to help it thrive. Yours might look like sharing the mental load with your trusted people, asking children to take on age-appropriate responsibilities, accepting help, or building simple routines that work for you.
Small shifts create big relief.
Noticing your stress is one of the most powerful first steps. Once you've noticed the story your mind is telling, look for one small shift that makes life a little easier.
Some examples of what this could look like:
Give yourself a helping hand as you help your kids.
You probably expect your children will need time to adjust to a new school year. Why expect anything different from yourself? Transitions take time for everyone. Rather than expecting yourself to have everything figured out on day one, give yourself permission to adapt alongside your family. You don't have to carry the entire school year right now. Simply tend to what matters today.
Chantal Menard Côté, R.Psych., is a Registered Psychologist, teen life coach, and founder of Pyramid Psychology. She is passionate about helping teen girl athletes and their parents navigate anxiety, life transitions, and emotional challenges with greater confidence, resilience, and connection.
See our related articles:
Calgary’s Child Magazine © 2026 Calgary’s Child
