Your son tried out for the junior high basketball team and didn’t make it. Your daughter wanted a part in her school play, but wasn’t chosen. Your youngest child failed an important math test. What is your response when your child goes through disappointments and outright failures? Perhaps a better question might be: “What can you teach your children through the inevitable disappointments and failures of life?”
My Child has Experienced a Significant Loss, How do I Help Them Cope? Heal? Experiencing loss is an unfortunate and difficult part of life; consequently, it is an experience that parents want to protect their children from for as long as possible. Regrettably, loss will touch a child’s life at some point or another, so parents need information to help their children process and heal. Loss comes in many forms: death of a loved one, divorce/family separation or moving to a new city/town. I am writing about this topic in three issues of Calgary’s Child: Part 1. Loss of a Loved One (Jan/Feb 2014 Issue); Part 2. Loss of a Nuclear Family Unit; and Part 3. Loss of a Community.
No doubt, it’s scary being a parent in today’s high-tech, competitive and often violent world. “We hear stories of abductions and kids getting harmed physically and sexually,” says psychotherapist Mari Jo Rapini. “We feel a need to protect our children.” Long gone are the carefree days like when Rapini grew up in a small town, prior to cell phones, the Internet and the idea that something catastrophic could happen if she was off her parents’ radar screen. There was no feeling that if she wasn’t constantly busy with piano or soccer, she would fall behind. “My parents saw their role as providing a secure home life, plenty of sleep, good food and help with homework,” says Rapini.
My Child has Experienced a Significant Loss, How do I Help Them Cope? Heal? Experiencing loss is an unfortunate and difficult part of life; consequently, it is an experience that parents want to protect their children from for as long as possible. Regrettably, loss will touch a child’s life at some point or another, so parents need information to help their children process and heal.
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