“When elephants fight, it’s the grass that gets trampled” – Kenyan Proverb
Conflict is not always a bad thing. Many positives come from conflict, not the least of which is learning how to resolve conflict itself in a peaceful and productive manner. Destructive conflict, on the other hand, serves little good. In my practice, I have found that some of the most significant change in clients – kids and adults alike – comes from conflict.
Talking to your kids about ‘the birds and the bees’ is more than just teaching them about sex and reproduction. It encompasses learning about their bodies, healthy relationships, boundaries, diversity, and keeping oneself safe. We know that discussing relationships, body parts, and sex with your child can be uncomfortable and overwhelming for many parents. What age do I start? What if they ask me a question I don’t know how to answer? How much detail should I provide? Will they understand what I’m saying? Many parents today did not have conversations about their body, sex, or sexuality with their parents, so it can be challenging to know where to start, and that’s okay.
“If I was a better parent, my kids wouldn’t argue so much!”
Wrong.
Siblings live in close quarters, and have different temperaments, needs, and emotions. It makes sense that there is conflict between our children. Conflict is natural and normal. This conflict gives our kids opportunities to learn and practice getting along even when we don’t agree. It gives us the chance to teach these skills.
Helping your child learn to understand and express their emotions effectively is a long-term process. Let’s face it, some adults still struggle with it!
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